Konnichiwa

Our Trip to Tohoku: Matsushima (Part 1)

Matsushima, Miyagi

**************************************************

We finally went to the tsunami-hit area. I think I mentioned before that Tomo did some volunteer work there in July.  The locals were saying to him - thank you for volunteering, but it would be just as good if not better if you brought your friends/family here to do some sight-seeing and drop some tourist money.  Tomo and I had always been curious and wanting to see first-hand the devastation and we wanted our boys to see it too. But were hesitatant to be tsunami-tourists as it seemed in bad taste to be gawking when so many were suffering. So after Tomo heard those words, he needed no further encouragement to bring us there.

We went during the long weekend in early October. Tomo had to be in Sendai for a business trip (his company lost a warehouse in Sendai to the tsunami). So the boys and I took the shinkansen by ourselves. We had quite an interesting encounter in the shinkansen. When we boarded, we could not find 3 seats together. At best, there were only 2 seats together but a salaryman had put his bag on one of the seats. So I was trying to get Taiga to sit down next to the bag and I am right behind him.  Taiga refused to be alone and we were having our little conversation in English where I was trying to get him to sit. The salaryman notices us and removes his bag. I thanked him in Japanese and told Taiga to thank him. Taiga thanked him in Japanese. And the salaryman said to Taiga - nihonjin datta (Oh, you are Japanese).  A simple phrase like "arigatou" is so telling as to where one grew up! I must say that the salaryman is quite different - he had a very nice friendly/kind smile. And he smiled often. Taiga must have felt comfortable with him right from the start. He normally clams up around strangers, but not with this salaryman. He told him that we were going to see the tsunami-area, does he know ultraman etc? He was talking non-stop about ultraman and goranger (another superhero) to the poor salaryman who is probably in his 50s.  The salaryman seemed to enjoy it and was amused.

We finally reached Sendai and met Tomo. Had a quick dinner of gyutan (cow's tongue) which Sendai is famous for and then crashed on the hotel bed.

The next morning, we headed to Ishinomaki.  On the way there, we drove past Matsushima. Matsushima is comprised of many little islands covered with pine trees (matsu=pine, shima=island).  It was quite scenic.

We also made a brief stop at Touna. The train station at Touna was flashed around the media as it was pretty much swept away by the tsunami.

I mention Touna because as we were walking around the train station (picture above of the "remains" of the train station), a man was pulling some plants off the ground. He started talking to us, saying he was pulling out herbs which is good for kids. We then asked him if he was around here when the tsunami struck.  He pointed us to about 5o to 100 m away and said his house used to be there. When the tsunami warnings came, he and his wife tried to get his elderly mum (in her 90s) out of the house to safety.  The mum initially agreed to leave the house but quickly changed her mind and decided to stay in her house. Because she did not want to leave, his wife also did not want to leave as the wife could not bear to leave the mum alone.  They were both upstairs.  He was pacing downstairs wondering what to do.  The water was flowing in to the house very quickly.  Before he could sort out what to do, the water had already almost reached the ceiling of the first floor and he was practically submerged in the water with his head sticking out (he had climbed his altar to get above the water).  He thought he was going to drown/die when the force of water tore the house away from the foundation and apart.  He then found himself floating in the open.  He said he was very lucky as near where he was floating, there was a telephone pole and there were 5 or 6 guys hanging off the top of the pole. When the rescuers finally came and got those guys off the pole, those guys told the rescuers to look for him - they had seen him floating around and they last time they saw him, he was still alive. And so the rescuers found him.  This was about 3 or 4 hours after the tsunami struck.  Many days later, the officials told him they found his wife and mum. They were still in the 2nd floor of his house but they had died. He told us that this train station, when the tsunami struck, the force of the water ripped out the metal and all the wood just floated up.  There are tracks no more. We thanked him for sharing his story and he waved us off.

Soon after, we came across this stationary train in the middle of nowhere.  

This train has not moved since the tsunami struck. Why? Because of the missing tracks! The tracks around this train are still intact but this train heads to Touma. 

As we drive around, we see tsunami tourists in tour buses and in private taxis! We saw this building which must have been a convenience store before.

 

Japanese Kids

I am quite shocked at how unsupervised some Japanese kids are after school.

They go home, dump their school bags, jump on to their bicycles and meet up with friends. They then cycle all over the neighbourhood. That is not a terrifying idea if you stay in say, a wide-open English village or even Singapore with its wide pathways. But here in Japan, esp in and around Tokyo, where practically all corners are blind and by the time a car sees a bike zipping across the road it is already too late to stop, and where the only thing that separates a narrow road and a pathway is a white line on the road.

The routine for Kai is to walk home and the babysitter will be waiting at home for him. He then spends the rest of the day with the babysitter and Taiga either at home or going to soccer/music/English class. He has now realised that his friends go home and meet up again on their bikes. His friends tend to meet up behind our house and Kai asked if he could join them. I said OK but the babysitter has to hang around. The babysitter told me they played behind our house for 30 mins then they all wanted to bike elsewhere. Kai wanted to bike with them but the babysitter said no. And I have seen these 6-years old young fellas just zipping across the roads on their bikes, oblivious to the danger. There is no way I am going to let Kai join them, unless supervised. I do feel badly for Kai as so many of his friends are zipping around like that and he feels left out. Should I get my babysitter a bike so that she can follow him around? I say that half in jest only. The other mums must think my kid is too precious. And I am a weird foreigner!

I have said to Kai he can play with his friends, and I don't mind him going around the neighbourhood, but can he walk please? No biking. Or better still, invite all your friends to our house, I don't mind and will even provide snacks. So one Friday, a little friend called Yamazaki (they call each other by surnames!) came and played a few hours in our house. The next morning, at 9.30, our doorbell rang. Tomo looked at the intercom but could not see any face. The he noticed some hair peeking out at the bottom of the screen! It turned out to be Yamazaki. He came in and played for a bit. We had to go to our new house by 10 for a ground-breaking ceremony, it is a shinto ceremony with an altar and a priest in robes, the whole bit. We asked where he wanted to go next and if we could send him home. He never really gave us an answer, so we brought him to the ceremony with us! The ceremony has rituals, done individually. Like one by one, we had to step before the altar, bow, clap, clap, bow etc. He did all that too! When we finished, he still did not want to go home so we brought him to out house again. At 12, he said he needed to go to another friend's house, so Tomo dropped him home. As Tomo was turning his car around, he saw Yamazki coming out of his house again with his grandma nearby, and then he jumped on his bike and rode away. At 4.30, Yamazaki's mum called us and asked if he is still with us!

Then since the school holidays started, Kai met this 8 year-old boy, Ryusei, at a toy department near our house. This boy roams around from 10 each morning till 8 at night, equipped with a cellphone which connects him to his mum. One evening, I took over the boys from the baby-sitter at the station. The boys were playing with Ryusei. It was already late and the boys wanted Macs for dinner. Ryusei also wanted Macs and I landed up getting dinner for 3 boys!! It started raining and Ryusei had no umbrella. He called home and from what I could make out from the 1-sided conversation, his mum refused to come out and bring the umbrella. I think she asked to to just walk home. He went to a shop and got a paperbag. He wanted to cut out holes for the eyes. Kai brought Ryusei to his music school nearby where they could help him with a pair of scissors. I was getting quite horrified and was thinking either to walk him home or buy him an umbrella. In the end, the music school had a spare umbrella and they lent it to him.

The next morning, Ryusei was looking for a playmate. He went to the music school and asked them to contact Kai!!! The music school called my husband and he called Ryusei. Now that Ryusei had Tomo's phone number, he called him a number of times that day to make arrangements to meet Kai later in the day! Tomo said he was in a meeting and had so many calls from a little boy just to arrange a kids playdate.

Then a couple of days later, the babysitter was with Kai and Taiga around the station when they bumped into Ryusei again. This time he was with this mum who was shopping. Apparently, the mum had a few words with the babysitter where she said it must be taihen (difficult) to look after 2 boys. She then promptly turned around to say bye to her son and left to go home! So my babysitter was left with 3 boys!! And when Kai had to go for his drum class, Ryusei insisted on going in to the studio to play the drums too.

When I took over the boys from the babysitter 2 nights ago, Ryusei had found the boys and all 3 were playing together. For 2 hours, I was hanging around supervising. Then the boys said they were hungry and we walked towards the foodcourt. I was surprised that as we neared the food court, Ryusei ran up to a table and lo and behold, his mum was there - chatting with a group of mums!

Ryusei is a decent little chap but he is not aware of danger. During my watch, as he was halfway down an escalator, he decided to run all the way up against the flow. Or he would walk down the escalator on the sides. Or he would jump the last 4 steps of a moving escalator. Or he would push himself up on banisters. All things that I want my kids not to do. So there I was having little heart attacks over a boy who is not my kid and whom I hardly know. I would tell him not to do it. But at the same time, I am getting stares from other strangers probably thinking MY kid is so ill-behaved!

Japanese Schools

(Just realised that Typepad has an app for the iPad, am checking it out now)

Kai has been in a Japanese elementary school for 4 months now. And it is soooo different from a Singapore school. Here is how:

1. We do not buy school textbooks before school starts. Apparently, the school will provide it. Maybe they have provided, but I have yet to see the textbooks. All I see are photocopies given to the kids, in dribs and drabs. For most part, the photocopying is quite good. But at times, it hurts my eyes.

2. I go through Kai's assessment sheets now and then to see how Kai is doing. He is doing alright so far. In Japanese schools, when you give a right answer, the teacher will circle the answer! When the whole page is correct, the teacher will draw a flower over the page!!! (I will try and get a photo)

3. There were a few times when Kai got simple stuff wrong. Like when the questions asks how many flowers are there in the picture and Kai writes 2 when it should have been 4. I have asked Kai to explain his mistake. He says it is hard to see the other 2 flowers. And I totally agree. The photocopying is really blur and fuzzy at times, hard to make out the other 2 flowers. I really think the education board can do better than that. Really not fair on the kids.

3. 1 teacher teaches everything! Yup. In Singapore, we have one teacher for maths, one for English etc. Not here. So Kai sees pretty much the same teacher day in day out for 1 year. I understand the system in Australia is like that too.

4. The exception to the above is the English teacher, who I understand is from the US. But I also understand that the system here is such that the US teacher does not directly teach the class. It all goes through that 1 teacher who teaches everything.

5. The other exception is the "international teacher". And guess where is Kai's international teacher from? From Singapore! Would you believe it, in our suburbs far away from the usual haunts where international families usually stay. Kai went up to her and told her he is half-Singaporean, haha. Must have shocked her to hear this little Japanese boy speaking Singaporean-accented English and claiming to be half-Singaporean.

6. A big shocker for me is that there is no set time-table. I think most schools around the world have a weekly time-table. Not here. Everyday, Kai has to write down in his notebook the classes for the next day and pack his bag accordingly. I am not sure if this is how they do it throughout primary school, or if it is only for the first few months for the 1st graders.

7. There are TOO MANY parent meetings. I went to the first one, could not follow what they were saying and refuse to go to the others. Truly, it is a waste of time as mums sit around debating who is to do what. Forget democracy. The class teacher should just assign and rotate assignments. For some assignments, no one wants to volunteer and we sit around looking down for many painful silent minutes as we literally wait for someone to volunteer. Other assignments are so popular that we have a few mothers fighting it out. Know how they settle these fights? Scissors, paper, stone. Seriously. I don't volunteer as I am working. And working full-time. In the city. Not around the school area. But we still have to attend these meetings anyway.

8. Now and then, the teachers will visit the house to speak to the parent. These are scheduled visits. For one week, school will let off early and the teachers will go from house to house. For a working mum, it is a real hassle when school lets out early.

9. We had our house visit in May. This is an epic occasion for most households. The mums will have planned buying the fancy cakes from the fancy patisseries, will have brought out the best china etc. We had Tomo running home all hot, bothered and sweaty. No cake. Regular cups. Not sure if Tomo even remembered to offer some water. I am not sure why the teachers visit the homes, my guess is to see the home environment. Hopefully, the teacher will be pleased to see that we kept it real - messy house, toys strewn everywhere, 2 days worth of plates and cups in the sink, dust-covered TV .....

10. PTA meetings are held in the school. Yet again, the kids are let out early. (You wonder when the kids really study when they are so often let out early for this meeting or that meeting). The funny thing is, the mum has to go to school for the PTA whereas the kid is let out early and has to go back home. What does this mean? That the kid goes back to an empty house. Even a first grader. I thought we understood wrongly and had Tomo call the school to confirm. That was the first PTA I attended. We asked whether Kai could stay in the school, hang out in the playground. The response - he has to go home. Even when there is no one at home? Yes. He just has to wait at home till the PTA has ended.

11. This is the other thing that really gets to me. Kai's English school is a 3 min walk to the left of the school. Our house is a 10 min walk to the right of the school. His English class starts 30 mins after school ends. We had Kai walk to English school directly from school. The teacher gives us a call and says Kai cannot do that. He has to walk home first then turn around and go to the English school. Even if he has no time to hang around at home. Why, we ask? The schools says that if he walks to English school instead of home, they cannot take responsibility. Now, that is a very curious statement. So if he walks home and something happens along the way, the school will take responsibility? Like touch wood, he gets into an accident on the way home, we can sue the school? It is not like the school has a lollipop man at the crossings to look after kids. So if anyone out there who reads this knows what this means, please let me know.

Our Houseguests from Canada : Kamakura

Joss-sticks in a temple.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The very weekend after we came back form Singapore, we had houseguests from Canada.  This certainly forced us to really clean our house for the first time in probably three years.  There was just too much to clean and declutter, and I think whilst we did not manage to do it to perfection, we achieved a level of decency.

Our guests were a retired couple, both musicians.  Uncle V's family (with his first wife) was Tomo's host family for a year when Tomo was studying in Canada.  He and his first wife (both teachers) built their own house on elevated land next to a lake.  Every nail was hammered in by them.  They even did the whole sewage system.  I stayed at that house a few years back and was totally impressed (and humbled).  Very nice house.  

Uncle V visited Japan a few years back, when his first marriage was about over.  This is his second wife's first trip to Japan (discounting when she came here abt 30 years back for a performance).  She was not interested in seeing the city scape.  She wanted countryside and Mt. Fuji.  So we brought them to Kamakura.  We usually bring guests to the temple with the big Buddha, but tried another temple this time round.  This temple has very nice grounds.

  

And then we visited another temple and another temple, till we had our fill of temples.  

   

What has been happening here?

After the "Lehman shock", everything has just been about spiralling down.  And Japan has been very badly hit, since it is such an export driven economy.  Demand is down, exchange rate does not favor the Japanese manufacturers.  

Japan, the country of lifetime guaranteed employment, is no more.  At the beginning of this economic downturn, foreign workers and Japanese working as temps were asked to leave.  Now, even the venerable companies like Sony have asked their full-time employees to leave - in the thousands. 

So like all other employees who still have a job for now, I have been trying my best to behave at work.  So even though I was very free in the office in January and February, I resisted the urge to update this blog or organize my photos on Smugmug.  I tried reading Nikkei, Financial Times as well as other internet articles more relevant to my work.  I even tried not to read other blogs, unless it is a blog that is related to my work.  Very trying times, indeed.

And then in March, there was a sudden surge in work and I think I have a lot of overtime daycare/babysitting bills for that month.  But really, that was a blessing and I can't complain.  I am more than happy to be busy and to pay such bills now.

There has been a slowdown this week, but I am hoping it will not last.  Although I have been told this will probably continue until after Golden Week.  The company is very carefully looking at how much time we are working/billing.  And there has been a bloodbath in my industry in London and in the US.  Some companies in England are already on their 4th round of redundancies.  

So all things considered, I have decided not to go back to Singapore in June.  Can't risk losing the job.  But you guys in Singapore are always welcome to come visit us and stay with us!   

Nikko - Part 3

Would I ever go back to Nikko again?  You bet. It was such a relaxing holiday.  Just looking over the lakes was bliss.  

It seems that it is not only I who feel that way.  Both the French and the Italian embassies have built summer cottages there for their ambassadors/entertaining.  The Italians have opened up their summer cottage to the public.  I was surprised at how small the main house is, considering that is where the ambassador lives in summer. The grounds were big though.  The pics below were taken at the cottage or around it.

The path leading to the cottage.

The cottage from the side.

The jetty right in front of the cottage.

The 3 boys on the jetty.

The jetty taken from the 2nd floor of the cottage.

Me and the boys inside the cottage.

Splash!

Strong little one.

A tadpole.

A brotherly moment. (I was 1 second too late.  The second before, Taiga had his whole arm around Kai.)

Boating.

Lovely isn't it?

Nikko - Part 2

Nikko is famous for the autumn foliage, so we were a bit early.  Which was great in the sense that it was empty!  We almost had the whole place to ourselves.

1 little hiccup that we had was the hotel.  We stayed in a small hotel and they apparently told Tomo (who did the reservations) that they are closed from 9.30 am until 5pm.  When they meant closed, the really meant closed.  After our little walk along the lake in front of the hotel, we retuned to the hotel at 9.35 am and found the main door locked.  We pressed the bell a few times and no one answered.  We finally called the number we had used for reservations and the manager picked up.  We asked to go in for just a minute to pick up some medicine for Kai.  They said no - we can buy the medicine at the town pharmacy.  Tomo put down.  I made Tomo call them again and say it is prescription medicine.  They said no again!  So we were totally locked out of our hotel!!! What kind of a hotel is that?   

I still can't understand why they could not just open the door and let us run in.  It is not like they are cleaning the rooms.  The whole time we stayed there, they did not make the beds or clean the toilet. They merely just threw out the trash.  Is the hotel spooked?  Do ghosts come out at certain times?  Tomo thinks that no one is present at the hotel at all during that time, for costs reasons.  Well, after asking around my colleagues, they have never heard of this and the price we paid for the room is  not exactly bargain price.  So I would never recommend that hotel.

And the lesson I have learnt from this?  Never leave the hotel arrangement to the hubby.  

Apart from that incident, we had a great time at Nikko.   The boys wanted to catch those big, scary beetles (kabuto mushi and kuwagatas).  So at the advice of the local people, we bought watermelons and lots of honey, spread them around trees and went back the next morning to inspect our find.  Nothing!  Morning after morning came up with nothing.  I bought the boys huge plastic models of the beetles instead.  I was actually quite relieved that we never caught them.  They are scary!

Apart from the autumn foliage, Nikko is famous for a certain shrine.  I was too busy to even read up on Nikko before we left, so did not know too much about the shrine.  But the shrine is very, very old.  Built in 1617.  Up in a mountain.  And it is a listed world heritage site.  Loads of foreign tourists around the shrine.  One of the things that the shrine is famous for (apart from being old) is a carving of the famous trio of monkeys - hear no evil speak no evil, see no evil.  I was a little surprised.  For whatever reason, I always thought these monkeys were from the West.  

Apart from the shrine, we went to a very interesting 3D museum.  See the pics below for yourself.

Kai framed!

  

Kai is already almost as tall as daddy!

Help!  (This pic could have been more realistic but I did not have the luxury of time to adjust with 2 active kids.)

Don't let go!  Kai trying to save daddy and Taiga.  Although daddy does not look too worried about falling.

This is actually just a painting on the floor.  So all 3 of them are on the floor and I took the pic from 1 level up.

What Do You Do When You See Someone about to Jump Before a Train?

Yes, that happened to me last week. 

I was at Futako-Tamagawa station waiting for the express train.  I was waiting at the last carriage, as usual, and the platform was not crowded at all.  I was a little distracted, my mum had called me earlier in the day to tell me that my aunt had died and I was debating whether to fly home for the funeral. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man come up the elevator and head staight for the edge of the platform.  He was hanging on to the end of the banister at the part of the platform where an entering train would first arrive before it slows down as it makes it way down the platform.  He was hanging on to the banister and swinging himself around, so that his body was sometimes over the train tracks. 

I was not sure initially whether he was drunk and was watching him for a bit.  It then became clear to me, he was not just a drunk person who was unsteady and hanging on to the bannister to steady himself.  He was actually contemplating jumping in front of the next arriving train, which would be an express train.

A little panic set in.  Should I just let him jump?  Should I get him away?  What do I say - I can't speak Japanese that well.  What should I do?  If I approach him, he may pull me down with him.  There have been such cases reported before.  Oh no!  Yikes!

I turned around and locked eyes with the girl behind me.  I then glanced to the man.  She took a look, understood the situation and looked panicked hersef!  We were exchanging looks when the guy behind her caught on to it.

He walked over to the suicidal man, approaching him from behind (the man was facing the train tracks).  He took out his hand, hooked it around the suicidal man's elbow and very gently but firmly, pulled him away from the edge of the platform.  And not a moment too soon as the express train started pulling in. 

The suicidal man did not acknowledge that guy, but slowly walked down the platform and showed no interest in boarding the train.  He got lost in the Qs that were moving forward to board the train, but I did catch a glimpse of his face and he did look distraught.

I think that guy did a great job.  I think that was probably the best way to handle a situation like that.  If that suicidal man really wants to commit suicide, there may be a day when it would really happen.  But in the meantime, he may take what happened as a sign that it is not time yet and maybe even, that at least somebody cares.

Suicides and Go-Katsu Byo

May is a depressing month in Japan.  Suicides peak this month and there is even a name for this malady: go-katsu byo. 

Go = 5/5th, katsu= month and byo=sickness.

5th month sickness.

Why do suicides peak in May?  April is the start of the new academic year, financial year, business year etc in Japan.  It brings about change.  For people who have been stressed/depressed already, such change makes it worse and is the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. 

Why are there so many depressed people?  I don't know.  My guess is that certain family environments are not very forgiving or supportive, but critical and/or demanding.  The forums on Japanese society frequented by foreigners blame it on lack of social services for mental health, which may be true, but I think first and foremost, the family is the most important.

Less than 2 weeks back, there was a suicide in the newly-opened Peninsula Hotel.  Yes, that grand Peninsula Hotel of Hong Kong fame now has a hotel in Tokyo.  But what is different about this year's suicides is the modus operandi.  Burning charcoal in a locked car is out; mixing toilet cleanser with bath salts is in.  As toilet cleansers and bath salts are easily available, as are internet sites giving details as to the proportions required, many of the suicides since April this year are by the toilet cleanser/bath salts method (which produces hydrogen sulfide).

A day after the widely-covered Peninsula Hotel incident, as I was walking home at about 7pm with my kids, we saw that the police had closed off a stretch of the road behind our house and there were at least 20 fire-engines/ambulances/police cars in the little stretch with all the red-lights flashing away.   And 2 helicopters circling overhead.  It certainly created a scene and esp. with 2 young boys who go crazy at flashing lights and sirens, we had to check it out.  The police would not let us go near though.  It was reported in the papers the next day - a 17-yr old boy had killed himself by producing hydrogen sulfide (he was found by his little brother when he entered the apartment) and the building had to be evacuated.  Like they did with the Peninsula Hotel suicide.  The problem with this method of suicide is that you don't just kill yourself but can possibly kill others around too who smell the gas.      

The papers have reported of elderly parents who try to save their suicidal kids only to be killed by the noxious fumes themselves.  As the gas is dense and remains low, the last thing to do is to bend down to drag the body out.  Open the windows, put on all fans and call the emergency services.

The Trouble I Get Myself Into ....

..... with my lack of Japanese.

As I was hanging out with Kai and Taiga over the weekend, we noticed some guys giving out balloons.  Kai and Taiga wanted a balloon, so we headed over.  As we approached, the balloon people came up to us, leant over Kai and Taiga and asked them whether they wanted balloons.  As they were picking out their colours, a guy from the balloon group came up to me and said some things in Japanese.  I could not quite understand him, save for something about a simple questionnaire, and just smiled and said "hai" to everything.

Before I knew it, we were being lead inside a building to not only fill out a simple questionnaire but also to watch a demonstration!!!

It was not all bad though.  I had always wanted to check out what high-definition TV is all about and the demo showed the difference. 

And in addition to the balloons, they also gave me 6 packets of seeds (for poppy, lavender etc) and a bagful of melon-pans (melon bread).